i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
