i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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