Whod you bang
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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