Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
