Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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