nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Drake has all the answers
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
