you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
