Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
