The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize