people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
