i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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