Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
