Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
