Plan B is the new Plan A
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
