I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
