Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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