Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
