1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
