I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
His nipple licking is glorious
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