I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize