I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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