Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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