Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
