i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize