Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize