I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize