im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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