I want to walk on stilts...naked
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
