You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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