I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
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I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
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I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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