some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
