i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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