the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
