Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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