What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
