CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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