the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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