I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
What a fucking waste of an outfit
the day after is always just damage control
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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