.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
