so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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