How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
