No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this just has baby written all over it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
