i barfeds in our rink
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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