i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize