my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Watching her eat just hurts me
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
