Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
