is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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