wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
