They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
