Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
