I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
