I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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