Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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