so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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