Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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