Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
