I wanna bring you to show and tell
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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