I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
