what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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