Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
