i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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