So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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