ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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