im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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