Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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