I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Send help, water and tortillas.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
