so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
